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Friday, 13 January 2012

Celebrity Madness: Beyonce Gives Birth, the Internet Explodes

Beyonce and Jay-Z welcomed their first child into the world earlier this week, instantly sending shock waves across the Internet. And before you could say Blue Ivy Carter three times fast, ludicrous rumors began to spread linking the power couple's baby to Satan, the Illuminati, and a South American surrogate.
Until Dan Brown writes a book about it, we may never know the whole truth. We're kidding, of course. It's all completely bogus. 

In other news, a large number of hormonal teenagers who probably shouldn't own their own computers remain convincedSelena Gomez is pregnant. Months ago, when the Internet first became inundated with the baseless rumor, we asked whether or not you thought the pop star was in fact expecting. 
More than 13,000 votes later, it appears Zimbio readers just can't make up their minds. Though she hasn't begun to eat Oreos and cream cheese, gained any noticeable weight, or befriended Gwyneth Paltrow, 48 percent of you nevertheless remain convinced the pop star is pregnant.
Selena+Gomez in 2011 People's Choice Awards - Press RoomBut don't worry, you're not alone. Far from it, actually. While we thought about sending out the office intern to conduct some field polls, we quickly realized that would mean a sudden shortage of coffee. 
So instead we did what any college educated editorial staff would and smashed our keyboards long enough until we struck on something completely magical. 
Eventually, we realized that by merely typing the word "Is" into Google, followed by one strike of the space bar, the first autocomplete suggestion that comes back at you is "Is Selena Gomez pregnant." 

Seeing as Google's algorithm "predicts and displays search queries based on other users' search activities," we can only conclude that millions have been typing that exact phrase into their search bars over the course of the year. 
As you can see from the screenshot, the other suggestions that pop up aren't any less enlightening. For the record, Daniel Tosh is not homosexual, Kate Middleton, like Gomez, does not have a baby on board, and bronchitis is highly contagious. So stop coughing.

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